And Then the World Imploded
by Stormwake
Summary: If you like sheer randomness, this is sure to make you laugh. Really, really hard. Promise.
1. Ooh, Squishy

Ok, so this is a combined effort between me and my bestest friend evah, Olivia. Anywho, this is completely random and... Yeah. Just read it. Disclaimer: I don't own anything... Copyrighted. At all. I don't own anything, so don't sue me.

* * *

Jack was very bored that day. He had done absolutely nothing other than take a walk, eat an egg, watch his pet butterfly, Gertrude, have a conversation with Cotton (he wasn't sure _how_, exactly), and shoot an undead monkey. Oh. And he drank all the rum. Big surprise there. So now the rum was gone. Why is the rum always gone? The world shall never know. So he sat at the helm and pouted. It was completely silent, save for the interruptive squeal of a seemingly lost penguin in what appeared to be an oversized octopus suit. "Is this the North Pole?" Jack looked down at the thing, assuming he had just had too much rum. 

GASP!

No, there is no such thing as too much rum. Jack assumed that he simply had so much rum that he was beginning to hallucinate. There. Much better. He waved it away. 'Does this look like the North Pole to you?"

The penguin paused and put a flipper to its temple in thought. "No." he look around again. "Do you know which way I need to go?"

"Erm… North?"

"Thanx, d00d. U R T3H 1337." The chatspeaking penguin transformed into a pickle and jumped over the side to visit its distant relatives, the sea cucumbers.

Well. Nothing out of the ordinary there, but something was still amiss. Jack couldn't quite put a finger on it. Gibbs ran by, waving a cleaver at Cotton's parrot, screaming at the top of his lungs. "That parrot ate all my spiffy pirate waffles! AND MY CEREAL THAT LOOKS LIKE COCOA PUFFS! YOU KNOW I'M CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS!" he laughed insanely.

Maybe it was that.

So there he sat, mourning his lack of rum when the Flying Dutchman burst up out of the water, spraying water everywhere. "I'm wet." Then he noticed that someone had gotten it into their heads to paint the sides lime green with purple polka-dots. Other than that, everything seemed pretty normal. Well, Clanker was apparently trying to reenact a rather violent Monty Python scene, but otherwise…

On the deck, Maccus walked up beside the captain, who was singing something that sounded like the Spongebob Squarepants theme, but it couldn't be certain. "Uh, sir?"

"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! Oh. Erm, ahem. What is it, Maccus, I have important business to attend to."

"What do you want?

"What do I want?"

"Yessir."

"Well, I want to get revenge on Jack Sparrow, retain my humanity, reclaim the woman I love…" The captain rambled on for a few minutes, going on about things like kumquats and flying toasters. "… And some air fresheners would be nice -have you notice how smelly it gets around here? And I've wanted a pony since I was four, and I've always wanted one of those nifty automatic apple peelers, and-" Maccus interrupted him.

"No, I meant, what do you want?" he held up his Dunkin' Donuts gift card, indicating what he meant.

"Oh." There was an awkward silence. "I'll have the usual- Double Expresso-Mocha-Mint-Iced-Cappuchino-Latte, two creams and a sugar." He looked over to the Pearl, only to see Jack standing there with a stupid grin on his face and Gibbs, running around in the background, squawking like a rooster with pneumonia. "Why don't you make that a triple?" With a sigh, he stepped over to the Pearl and stared down at Jack, who was still grinning, this time a bit more guiltily than before. "You still have a debt to pay." Suddenly, a policeman known as Jacques Clouseau appeared out of nowhere, pointed at Jones and announced with an extremely thick French accent, "I find your accent to be quite _foonie_." With that, he jumped on his hot pink pony, which Jones was quite jealous of, and rode away into the sunset, even though it was only one in the afternoon.

"Riiiight. Wait, what?" Jack's grin faded.

"You never paid your debt. You have a balance of $97.95 souls remaining."

Oh, well…" Jack searched for an excuse, actually not having one for once. "Well, you see…" He shrugged and poked Jones between the eyes. "Ooh. Squishy."

* * *

So there it is. If you didn't laugh, there is something seriously wrong with you. Go see a doctor. All reviews appreciated! I mean, like, ALL reviews. Oh, BTW, I would look foreward to a second chapter, as we both still have ideas. 


	2. I Shall Eat Your Head

Yay! Second chapter! I don't know quite what we were thinking when we wrote this... Well, actually, Olivia was thinking of all the nasty and violent ways we could kill off Gilette, but that's not really the point. Please note that all character-bashing and head-eating is all in good fun and we love them as much as you do (EXCEEEEPT GILEEEEEETTE), so don't go and flame me about it. Other than that... Yeah. Read on, d00d, read on.

* * *

Jack sat down, obviously quite uncomfortable. Seo Feng had invited the group for coffee and muffins in his palace made of cheese. Yes, the walls were cheddar and the roof, limburger. It smelled horrible. (Didn't Jones ask for an air freshener last chapter? Typical squidheads; always disappearing when you need them.) Well, anyway, he had to rebuild it with _something_ since Jack and his gang had trashed it last time. Come on, building supplies were expensive nowadays! Anyway, Will had never had coffee before and well… Let's just say it had different effects on different people. In this case, song. Will kept bursting out into song. "_Tomorrow! Tomorrow! There's always tomorrow! It's only a day awaaaaaaaaay!"_ His voice cracked, and Elizabeth discreetly tried to dig her eardrums out with her pinky. (let it be known that even though Will was handsome, noble, and dashing (usually) he did not have the greatest singing voice. Jack lied. Oh, and he wasn't a soprano. He was clearly a tenor- a really bad tenor. And we shall leave it at that.)

She looked at him strangely and asked herself aloud, "Why did I marry him again? Gosh, I could have had a dashing, infamous pirate or a wealthy and loyal commodore, but nooooooooo. I had to pick the blacksmith." Feng and Jack just looked at each other, a comically questioning look on their faces.

"So anyway," began Feng. "Sorry about that… Well, you know."

"The what?"

"You know, the thing about the llama and the pancake and the anvil?"

"Oh yes. We shall not speak of that."

Will began singing again. _"Whyyyy not? Why not? Take a crazy chaaaaance!"_ Elizabeth had had it up to here with Will.

"Dear. My sweet love, will you please SHUT THE HECK UP?" Will pouted.

"_So much for my happy ending… Whaohoh. Whaohoh."_

"Will?"

"_I'M A GOOFY GOOBER! ROCK_!"

Barbossa, who has had no important role in this story whatsoever until now, picked Will up and casually tossed him out the window. His voice could be heard trailing in the air. "_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly! I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky. I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change and breakaway_!" There was a sploosh as he hit the water and they could still hear him singing, between gasps of air. _"Help, I need somebody! Help, not just anybody! Help, you know I need someone! HELP!"_

After a pause, they could also hear Gilette's voice outside the palace. "Hey, bub. What're you in for?" Of course, no one likes him. So we don't care.

Barbossa, who will have no further use in this story, was swept up in the pouring mass of Will fangirls and carried to their torture headquarters. The Turkish prison. Who would've guessed? After that… Well, let's not go into that. Jack raised a finger. "That was odd. Just like that time Aunt Phyllis glued that hamster to her-"

"What?" Seo Feng looked up, about to stuff half a dozen éclairs into his face.

"My Aunt Phyllis?"

"No, after that."

"A hamster?"

"HAMSTER!" Will took this moment to burst in the door.

"_The boys are back in tooooooown!" _Now Elizabeth broke into song as well.

"_So, shut up, shut up, shut up, don't want to hear it. _Oh, god, it's spreading! It's spreading like wildfire! Help me!"

"_Help, I need somebody! Help, not just anybody! Help, you know I need someone! HELP!"_

"You already sang that song!" (At this point, Elizabeth was saying things that should not be repeated and were quite unladylike.)

Jack, being himself, was completely unruffled by this little outburst. "Yes, a hamster. It's in the rodent family. Now, I happen to prefer chinchillas myself, but… Erm, what's he doing?"

Jack glanced over at Seo Feng, whose eyes had begun to glow a rather unflattering shade of puce. "HAAAAAM-STEEEEEER…" he growled. He then attempted to eat the table, which was… odd.

Will popped up beside him. "Aww, does someone need a hug?" He attempted to wrap his arms around Feng. _"I love you, you love me, we're one happy family, with a great big hug an-"_ This cheerful little outburst was quickly interrupted by Seo Feng craning his neck over and swallowing Will's head.

"Cool," said Elizabeth. You could hear a faint voice coming from his stomach. It was singing the Hamster Dance song. Seo Feng had already eaten Will's head and so there was nothing he could do about it. Except maybe implode, but he couldn't, because we still need him.

Gibbs popped up, apparently out of Jack's suitcase. "Arrgh, it be frightful bad luck to swallow a blacksmith's head on the third Monday in August if ye've just eaten éclairs and live in a house made of cheese."

Seo Feng began to charge toward the suitcase, with a battle cry that sounded like "STEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEN!"

"Who's Steven?" Jack asked, completely oblivious to the fact that a hamster-hating, head-eating, puce-glowing madman was charging towards his lovely suitcase (Which had assorted vegetable stickers on it).

Luckily, Gibbs popped back into the suitcase just in time, and Seo Feng got a very nasty bump.

"Dude, what IS it with you and hamsters?" Jack (who was probably drunk, and still completely oblivious) asked.

Seo Feng turned towards him, snarling and drooling. Elizabeth handed him a hankie. "HAMSTER! HAAAAAAAAAMMMMMSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTEEEEEERRRRRR!"

Jack's head was being digested in less than five seconds flat. Seo Feng then proceeded to smash through the wall of cheese and into the ocean, where Gilette was still floating.

"Hey-hey, you a disliked minor character too? Yup, I remember my first day at the job. Good times… lots of hamsters."

"HAAAAAMMSTEEEEEER!"

Gilette was never heard from again. Ha-ha. Seo Feng, on the other hand, did make it back alive; however, he had to eat Tums for a month and join Weight Watchers. Hey, not only do heads give you indigestion, they're really, really fattening! (especially Will's. He's a fathead.) After he had finally gotten back into shape, the fangirls came and ate his head. Fangirls don't like it when you eat their "beloved's" head (Especially the rabid ones. They can give you nasty diseases, anyways.) and it was only right that he receive a fitting punishment. Ow.

Elizabeth, being the only sane, alive, and important character present, proceeded to throw herself a dance party. Cucumbers abounded.

And the moral of the story is: never trust a hamster-hating, head-eating, puce-glowing Chinese pirate that lives in a house of cheese…… They WILL eat your head.

"_So long, farewell, until we meet a-GAIIIIIIIIIIIN!"_

"I hate you."

* * *

That was... random. As it should be. Amen. All reviews appreciated! 


	3. Of Dutchmans And Marshmallow Heads

ThunderBenderPrincess- I dunno, it seems Spongebob can be associated with Pirates in a number of different ways. It's rather creepy, actually.

Fly Like a Blueberry Pie- Are you kidding? Gilette bashing rocks! And am I a Will hater? Noooooo. In fact, both Olivia and I are proud Willibethians.

musicsreprise- Awesome! Glad you liked it!

stormhawk- Yes, fangirls are dangerous beasts. Especially when you eat their "beloved's" head.

G.A. Clive- Awesomsauce is still and awesomesauce word!

Sir Francis Drake's Heir- Hah, but that was a spur of the moment thing. Everyone knows that Will and Elizabeth are _meant_ to be together. -wink-

Mulch Diggums- Oh! Seo Feng is the (other) villan in the third movie. I'm glad you asked since there might be some other people who may not have known.

Mrs.CaptainJackSparrow1234- SQUISHEH! -laughs- Thanks for reviewing!

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Ah yes, the third chapter. Ok, first of all, you can see that I've added review replies. I'll try to post them for the rest of the chapters going forward. Second of all, Olivia wanted me to say, "Olivia is sorry that this chapter is so late. She didn't know how it happened. Must've been the cows." Those are ture words of genuine fake honesty. So, read your hearts out, we've worked out butts off on it (or more or less, I've worked _my_ butt off convincing _her_ to work _her_ butt off.)

* * *

Perhaps it was the full moon that made them act so funny. Maybe it had something to do with the tides or the way the ship moved. But no matter the cause, something was up. Clanker made this obvious by attempting to do DDR to his own hit song. The chorus could be heard for miles: "I love mah cow! Mah cow loves meh! And mah little cow says Mooooooooooo!" Then again, that was something he did quite often (far too often for anyone's tastes) but Oldhaddy was screeching along to "Pop Hits of the 70's" and that sort of sent a slightly obvious point. Maccus dragged out an old iron fire pit he had bought from a wandering llama salesman. 

"HEY!" He looked down at the empty plastic bag in front of him. "It's a floggin' for whoever ate all the marshmallows!" He looked around and spotted Koleniko, who was guiltily averting his gaze somewhere else. He was trying to inconspicuously swallow a general number of 18.476538 marshmallows at the same time. "Do y' know what happened t' the marshmallows?"

"Hurm, noo, ivn't sheen no mershmewwows."

Maccus shrugged an 'Ok.' and skipped off, flower petals landing in his wake. (They came, naturally, from the Mustard Fairy, who visits good-er, bad little vicious pirates and bestows them with things that smell nice. It's for the sake of everyone) He began humming the Teletubbies theme song while Oldhaddy belted out "CROCODILE ROCK IS SOMETHIN' SHOCKIN' WHEN YOUR FEET JUST CAN'T KEEP STILL!"

"Oi!" called Bootstrap. He motioned towards Hadras. "What's up with him? He seems… Oh, what's the word I want?"

"Odd?"

"Well, I was thinking more along the lines of downright freaky, but that'll do. So?"

"You haven't heard the rumor?"

"Hadras, I've spent a decade on a ship that never makes port. I don't get out much." Hadras clapped Bootstrap over the head.

"No, you goober, on the ship. The rumor on the ship. Thanks, now you've ruined the mysterious atmosphere! It's not my fault you're so outta the loop!" Bootstrap just rolled his eyes and motioned for him to continue. "Well, they say there's this witch with a horde of Emo Lemur Pirate Hockey Ninja Angel Waitress Gangster Hippie Queen Hot Dog Dudes."

"Emo Lemur Pirate Hockey Ninja Angel Waitress Gangster Hippie Queen Hot Dog Dudes?"

"Aye, Emo Lemur Pirate Hockey Ninja Angel Waitress Gangster Hippie Queen Hot Dog Dudes. Legend says she sends her Emo Lemur Pirate Hockey Ninja Angel Waitress Gangster Hippie Queen Hot Dog Dudes to sprinkle old lemon gratings all over us. That's what makes us do…" He nodded towards the screeching Clanker. "_That._ Bloody smart blighters those things. They'll take over the world some day. Isn't that right, Wheelback?" Hadras asked his fellow crewmates as he stalked by.

"Ah, the Attack Of the Emo Lemur Pirate Hockey Ninja Angel Waitress Gangster Hippie Queen Hot Dog Dudes Who Am Not Stupid. Yep. That'll be the day."

Bootstraps face contorted in a puzzled expression. "Strange. I always thought it had to do with the proximity of the moon and the percentage of positive hydrogen ions in our chemical makeup."

"What kind of stupid explanation is that? Our story is way more believable."

Finally Clanker stopped shouting about cows and DDR. It was such a relief to the crew that Olgilvy and Jimmylegs threw a party using the leftovers from Elizabeth's dance jam. However, the cucumbers had gone a bit sour (It was Vinegar Rain Thursday) and so pickles abounded (let it be known that pickles are far better partiers than cucumbers.) Clanker lit the fire pit and sat down on a log that had randomly appeared. He took a deep breath and…

"LET'S GATHER 'ROUND THE CAMPFIRE! AND SING OUR CAMPFIRE SONG!" Upon hearing this, Davy Jones stepped out of his cabin.

"Fo' shizzle ma nizzle, yo! What's goin' down wit mah homiez? D.J. is in da clu- Oh, I- I mean, what's going on here?"

"OUR C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG!"

"Hello?"

"AND IF YOU DON'T THINK THAT WE CAN SING IT FASTER THAN YOU'RE WRONG-"

"Clanker…" The sailor being spoken to leapt up, scared out of his wits. "You've made a very grave mistake."

"Sir! I didn't'-"

"You should know that I can sing it faster. -CAUSE IT'LL HELP IF YOU JUST SING ALONG!" The two began a contest. "CAMPIFRESONG SONG!" They were trying so hard, Jones' tentacles turned purple and Clanker's tongue just… Fell off. "Ha!" cried Jones. "I win!" He leapt up and did a victory dace that looked like something between the chicken dance and the Macarena. We shall call it the Chikerana. Clanker just grumbled and went to retrieve his tongue, which had decided to take a vacation to the beautiful Caribbean. It didn't take long for it to notice it was already there. It looked a lot nicer on the brochure.

Meanwhile, the group of fish-men pushed forward Bootstrap. "Captain?" Jones looked down at him disdainfully. "We were wondering if you'd tell us a story."

"A story?"

"A story."

"A story?"

"Yes, a story."

"A story."

"YES A STORY! Oh, sorry Captain."

"What kind of story?"

"I don't know… We all wanted to hear... Well... _Your_ story." He stared at his feet. "Ok, now I feel like an idiot." Koleniko had finally managed to swallow his 18.476538 marshmallows.

"Ooh! Tell us the one about the prune pudding and the orangutan!" He received numerous odd looks. Or….Not." Bootstrap rolled his eyes.

"You moron, that's _Clanker's_ story."

"Oh. Riiiiiiiiiight."

"Enough. I'll tell you." So Jones sat and told them the story. Yes. That story. "Well, I was born in a quaint little cottage on the shore of Singapore..."

_Two hours later_

"And then on my second birthday, I-"

"Sir?" Maccus interrupted.

"What?" Jones snapped, jolting out of his reminiscent trance.

"Well, we wanted to hear the... Well, you know what part."

"Oh." He pouted slightly and then resumed the stony-faced-captain-look. "And then I grew up, roamed the seas, and tamed a creature never before seen by human eyes. And _then_ I ran afoul of what vexes all men."

"Taxes?" asked Oldhaddy.

"Reality television!" volunteered Maccus.

Clanker contemplatively looked out to sea. (Contemplatively? Oh yes, something was definitely wrong.) "My mother's cooking."

Bootstrap thought a moment. Suddenly, he jumped up, eyes blazing, arm waving madly in the air. "Ooh! Ooh! I got this one! I got this one!" Everyone was dead silent, waiting for a most likely profound, philosophical answer. "I know what vexes all men!"

"Spit it out!" Bootstrap took a deep breath.

"A DUCK!"

* * *

... 

Yes. The proverbial duck. So, everyone who reviews get a cookie AND a rubber duckie (because not only do they vex all men, but Johnny Depp collects them.) So review please! Besides, maybe more reviews will inspire Olivia to add her two cents a bit faster.


	4. Pirates Tend To Be Creative Or Not

ZOMG. We aren't dead. Fancy that. Anyway, I apologize for my chronic lateness, but hey, I've been doing alot. Of which I won't tell you because this, quite obviously, is a fanfiction. Not a blog. (crickets) That was supposed to be funny. My apparent lack of supreme funniness (is that a word?) is probably due to the fact that Olivia has seemingly quit. And therefore I shall continue flying _soloooooo_. So,I shall keep you no longer.

**Zephyr Zucchini**- Whoa. Chocolate guillotine? I like. (scribbles down) And no, I shall not kill Will! In fact, I was planning to make it up to him in a future chapter. Obviously that is not this chapter.

**Cheorl d'Arion**- I dunno, the ducks _are_ probably planning to take over the world, but the llamas will beat them to it.

**Captain Dascher**- Really? (squee) Ah feel so luuuuved. XD (munches cookie) Mmmm, peanut putter.

**Fly Like a Blueberry Pie** – You write like, the best reviews ever. MISERABLE MARSHAMLLOW! And I know for sure that Clanker will come up in a chapter somewhere down the line.

**whyistherumgone** – Awww, be nice to Will. But yes, perhaps he is a fathead… Every once in a while. At least he's not as bad as Gilette…

**Becky** - 'Ello! Thanks for commenting and I'm glad you like it!

**Mrs.CaptainJackSparrow1234** – OMG. Peggy leg dance. And thus you have sparked another theory. And the reception of your cookie will not require any household appliances. Thank you. XD

**iamanundeadmonkey** – Mmmm, I dunno, Bootstrap just seems like he wouldn't fit into the group, y'know? And tell your dad he has every right to be vexed by ducks. It's human nature. XD

**Sparrow's Swann** – OMG! Survivor is invading! Run for your liiiiiiiives!

**musicsreprise** – YAY! I UPDATED! And yes, you may have your duck. Keep it on a leash.

**ThunderBenderPrincess** – Yeah, you just about summed it up right there. I'm not quite sure how you'd sum this next chapter up, though. o-O

**TheRumAndTheFeather** - Don't worry, the fangirls are always present. (freakeh) And of course random people rock! Where would the world be without them?

* * *

"What are you doing?" asked Elizabeth. "You look ridiculous." Will pouted and looked down at his choice of clothing. 

"But it's _Superhero Day_." he whined. He struck a rather feminine pose, apparently very proud of his pink and white jumpsuit. "I am UNICORN MAN!" She snorted and rolled her eyes.

"And, oh great and powerful Unicorn Man, where might your unicorn be?"

"Erm…" His shoulders slumped for a moment and the wings on his hat drooped. "It's in the shop." There came a crash and both turned their attention to the door of the captain's quarters. There stood Jack, outfitted in a strange purple and orange costume, which included a blue cape and mismatched boots. The insignia on his chest was an anvil with a crossed leek and cauliflower in the background. "I am CAPTAIN RANDOM!"

"Jack?" Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "Why are you wearing your underwear on the outside?"

"Am NOT!" He stuck up his nose and gestured widely to his outfit. "It's the latest style for all the superheroes in London." He shrugged. "Now someone help me find my team of man-eating koalas; they've run off again." Norrington was the last one to show off his new look. He jumped out from behind one of the masts.

"I am WIND MAN! Fear my air powers!" He then attempted to blow the three of them over until his face turned a bright shade of magenta. But at least it wasn't puce.

Jack cringed. "Wow, dude. That's really lame." When Norrington continued to blow, Elizabeth became worried. "Oh, Jack, go help him. He's starting to match Will's outfit."

"HEY!"

"Well, it's _true_!"

Will began to fall backwards. "Great unicorn horns! He's blowing me over!" The other two looked on as he dropped to the deck. He flapped his arms around for added effect.

Norrington finally stopped his blowing and frowned. "You're just trying to make me feel better." His frown grew as Will stood up and he went to the helm to curl up in a ball and sulk.

Jack shrugged. "Well, it could have been worse."

Norrington stopped sulking with the speed of a slow cheetah. "I am WIG MAN!"

"Good Lord."

"You shall bow down to my superior power or face the wrath of my awesome wiggy powers!"

Jack raised a fist in his direction. "I shall never surrender to you! Admit your defeat or face the furry fury of my legion of warrior ninja hamsters!" He then proceeded to do a rather odd ninja dance and throw a hamster at Norrington. "WHACHACHACHA!"

_Squeek_.

Norrington looked down at the hamster. "That didn't hurt." Then the hamster spoke up.

"Yeah, for you. I'm the only one left from_ last_ year. And then there was the Great Seo-Feng Massacre. Don't get me started on that."

By now, Jack had snuck up on him and he beaned him over the head with a zucchini. Norrington screamed like a little girl and fainted.

"WHOO! SWEEEEEET VICTORYYYYY!" In his excitement, Jack forgot that Norrington was already out cold and continued to hit him with the zucchini, emphasizing each word. "And that. Is why. I rule. The world!" On the next swish downwards, his zucchini was deflected by an oversized eggplant, held by Beckett, who had randomly appeared on the ship.

"Stop! In the name of the law! I am Pink Marshmallow Man and I shall-". But Beck- ahem Pink Marshmallow Man got no further than that, for at that very moment, a collective swarm of Jack, Will, Norrington and Davy fangirls came in a dizzying bout and carried him off on a stick, to be roasted with some potatoes and eggplant. For as we have learned before, fangirls see _everything_. And who would have guessed? Not only did the fangirls rule the Turkish Prison, but they were the brains behind the Pelegostos' cannibal tribe. (Wait, the Pelegostos _had_ brains?) Interesting.

But then Barbossa's ship, the Green Apple, pulled up beside the Pearl and off jumped Barbossa. "AH AM SUPAR CLIFFIE GUY! I can revive myself at the worst possible moment and make fans scream and spontaneously combust!"

Jack raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think you celebrated Superhero Day."

"Well, now I do. Being dead really makes you think about the important things in life. I finally realized how crucial Superhero Day is to a good pirate."

And then, Elizabeth, feeling quite left out, decided that she needed a super alias name too. "I am…" She thought a moment. "Only-Major-Female-Character-In-The-Plot-Except-For-Maybe-Tia-Dalma-Lass! I can make any male character fall for me and create love triangles, squares, and pentagons that hopelessly complicate the movie!"

"Can we abbreviate that?" asked Jack. Will made a face.

"O.M.F.C.I.T.P.E.F.M.T.D.L? That makes no sense."

"Ok." She thought a moment. "What about-"

"AND I AM SIR LAME-O! With the amazing power to make everyone on earth loathe me with the burning intensity of a thousand suns!" Gilette grinned from in front of his flashing lime-and-orange background, which promptly blew a fuse and exploded. Elizabeth, who was quite unhappy to have the spotlight stolen from her, nonchalantly gave Gilette a small push that sent him careening over the railing.

"Smashing, dahling. Just smashing. So, where were we?"

Barbossa, who appeared to be extremely bored already, raised a finger. "I think we were arguing about something completely and utterly ridiculous."

"Right. I was saying that- Oh." Will sighed. "It's fine. Now, Jack, since you seem to be an expert on the subject, can you tell me what we're supposed to do?"

"Same thing all Superheroes do." He walked over to a closet that had until recently been nonexistent and pulled something out. Satisfied, he dumped it to the deck and proudly announced, " Alright! Barbie, deal the money." And so they all sat and played a riveting game of Monopoly. Thus ended Superhero Day.

"Norringtion, you idiot! You just sold him Tortuga for fifteen shillings!"

* * *

(laughs) Gosh, I really like this chapter. So please, I got a ton of reviews last chapter, perhaps I could get just as many, if not more? This time I shall promise to you a... Hmm... I'll take requests. Yes. You name it. (yay, I like this idea) Just no world domination, please. XD 


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